Random Musings

Who is this “Snookie”, and why should I give rat’s rear-end how she eats her pistachios? Isn’t she somebody from that “Surviving with the Idols” show that I never watch?  Am I supposed to race down to the supermarket and fill my cart with bland nuts because some brainless tart opened one by smashing it with a tanning bed in a commercial?  Oh, you’re so clever, Snookie, almost as clever as otters using a rock to crack oyster shells, or primates using a tree-limb to break open a coconut.  Almost.       

Other clever uses for Snookie:

-boat anchor

-Christmas tree stand

-shooting range target

-crash test dummy

-department store mannequin

-poster child for the failure of our education system  

-victim of a senseless crime    

     *   *   *   *   *   *   *                                                                                                        

So it’s 54 degrees in Cancun, Mexico – which is a 100 year record low.  Hilarious, because Cancun is where they’re holding the “global warming” summit!  (pause for laughter) 

The last summit in Copenhagen had record snowfall; a rather inconvenient truth for Al Gore, I’d say.  Still, this fact does not seem to matter to these people, which further proves this isn’t about the environment, it’s nothing more than a grab for money and control. 

Is Al Gore really worried about rising oceans?  He and Tipper just bought a house on the beach. (How much hairspray does Tipper use? Don’t chlorofluorocarbons eat away at the ozone like Pac Man at a Golden Corral buffet?) 

How many of these people flew coach to this summit? I’m sure none of these environmentally conscientious folks were hypocritical enough to fly first class; I’m equally confident that not one limousine was seen at this summit (cough, cough). 

Bolivian president Evo Morales said at the summit he wants to see the creation of a global climate court.  He believes capitalism (meaning America) is responsible for global warming.  So this socialist llama herder wants to set up a punitive system to confiscate money from countries that produce (America) and redistribute it to countries that smell like llama poop (Bolivia) because his country sucks and socialists can’t create any wealth of their own.  I think the lesson here is that global warming is just a lot of llama poop.

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