Your Chances Are Increasing

by Steve K.

Idiotic Saying #477: “If you have a gun in your home, your chances of being hurt or killed with a gun are greatly increased.”

This is a frequent utterance of liberals who are against gun ownership; the self-appointed experts who’ve never owned a gun themselves.

Here is what is disingenuous about that whole argument: these people are the same ones who favor “freedom of choice” in other life and death circumstances such as abortion and assisted suicide. They insist “Only God can judge me!”. I’m not sure what god liberals are invoking here, but it seems this god lifts the restriction on judging when it comes to how the rest of us choose to go out – whether we go out cowering in fear or go out fighting back. Whatever happened to “My body – my choice!”?

If the argument that guns should be banned because the presence of a gun in the home leads to increased incidents of injury and death then consistency demands that we carry this logic over to other areas as well:

  • Driving a car greatly increases your chances of being hurt or killed in it. More Americans are injured or killed by auto accidents than by guns. 
  • Operating a chainsaw greatly increases your risk of being injured or killed by it. You are most likely to be hurt by your own chainsaw. Unless, of course,  you’re a hapless victim of a chainsaw massacre, but this is easily solved by wily legislatures setting aside “chainsaw free” zones to reduce chainsaw violence. With signs posted in conspicuous locations you can now breath a sigh of relief.*
  • Riding a bicycle greatly increases the odds of you falling off of it.
  • Deboning a chicken with a kitchen knife increases your odds of suffering a cut.  “Save the liver!”snl-the-best-of-dan-ackroyd-20051019003350665-000
  • Your chances of loosing teeth increase exponentially by playing in the National Hockey League.
  • Hunting with Dick Cheney raises the odds of you having to pick bird shot out of your face.
  • Chances that you will “Whip it!” increase after listening to Devo.
  • Your chances of dying from death are 100%**
  • Posting a comment on Facebook or Twitter increases the odds of offending some hyper-sensitive soul.

Engaging in these activities (or life in general) clearly raises the odds of injury or death. We must therefore ban everything even remotely dangerous. And isn’t reducing all danger the motivating force behind the oddly selective focus on the dangers of firearm ownership to the exclusion of all other hazards?

Being liberal greatly increases your chances of saying something stupid.

* Not applicable to Texas residents.

** Not applicable to Enoch.

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